


Silver and Gold

by hazelandglasz



Category: Glee
Genre: Forgiveness, Headcanon, Jealousy, M/M, Reaction, Resentment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:33:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelandglasz/pseuds/hazelandglasz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A reaction fic to the Glee premiere (spoilers for Episode 1, "Loser Like Me")<br/>What goes through Blaine's mind at Scandals while Kurt rushes to the bathroom</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silver and Gold

**Author's Note:**

> Of course this is only my opinion and I'm not saying i *know* what Blaine is thinking

As Kurt makes an escape to the restrooms, Blaine knows exactly what is going on.

No matter how much he tried to erase Kurt from his brain, he can’t escape the intimate knowledge he has of him.

Of his habits.

Of the way his shield rises.

Particularly after opening himself like he did just before Dave entered the bar, and Blaine is still trying to wrap his mind around it.

_**“I’m going to get your forgiveness, and then I’m gonna get your heart back.”** _

Blaine blinks as he tries to focus on what he has now.

What he has fought to get back—his peace of mind, his sense of self.

The sentiment that he is whole even without Kurt in his life.

 

Dave offers to get them all a round of shots, pressing another gentle kiss to his temple and Blaine nods and smiles, leaning a bit into the touch.

They both know that it’s not going to last forever.

They both know that it’s comfortable and … nice.

Blaine can use some uncomplicated nice for a little while.

 

But as he looks in the direction of the bathrooms, he thinks of all the complicated he shares with the man who ran away, probably to hide a meltdown if Blaine still knows him like he thinks he does, and his heart squeezes painfully.

 

It would be all so easy.

Shake hands with Dave, part as friends and let Kurt sweep him off his feet.

Oh, Blaine would make Kurt work for it, woo him and seduce him back.

Show him that he can trust Kurt with his heart once again.

It would be all so easy.

 

Too easy, perhaps.

Blaine can hear his therapist like she’s sitting on the stool Kurt vacated.

 _“You need to think of what you need, what you want, not what you think you need_.”

Right.

 

Right now, Blaine finds it a little bit complicated to untangle which from what, to be honest, but he knows one thing for sure.

He’s not going to let his heart take him for a spin.

Because right now, if he was listening to his heart, he would run to the bathroom, find Kurt and kiss the tears that are probably, surely, spilling from those beautiful eyes away.

And give his forgiveness because it’s what Kurt asked for, and hand over his heart with a perfectly tied ribbon.

His mending heart, still broken and missing a couple of pieces that he left in New York.

 

Dave comes back, carrying a tray of shots and a little bowl of pretzels from the bar—because he knows that Blaine likes to munch on them when they’re only drinking, and that alone makes Blaine smile at him.

His improbably, temporary boyfriend who is helping his heart to unfreeze to fix itself.

Because even if Blaine Anderson doesn’t need no man to fix himself up, he can use a little help.

 

To see that he’s worthy of time and attention.

To see that it’s not ridiculous to want to show the world that you’re with this someone.

To see that he deserves it.

And Kurt needs to see it too.

 

The thing is, Blaine knows Kurt.

He knows that while Kurt will not actively try to break Dave and him apart because this is not a telenovela, he will make good of his promise.

He will fight for Blaine’s forgiveness, and he will fight for his heart.

 

A sudden wave of anger rushes through Blaine, from the earth-shattering pain born from resentment.

If Kurt wanted Blaine’s heart, all he had to do was keep it, dammit.

He had it cradled in his palms the whole time Blaine was with him and he just smashed it against the whole because …

Because what?

Because things were not bending to Kurt Hummel’s will?

Blaine reaches for a shot, and Dave opens his mouth before closing it, his hand finding the small of Blaine’s back.

Blaine may know Kurt, and Kurt knows Blaine too, but Dave knows him too.

Not as well, and not as intimately (and not in the biblical way either—Blaine just can’t), but enough to know that when Blaine’s jaw locks, he shouldn’t bring the Anderson wrath upon himself.

 

Kurt comes back from the bathroom, cheeks colored pink and smiling, but Blaine knows better.

He can see the drop clinging to Kurt’s eyelashes.

The sudden wetness of Kurt’s collar, proof that he splashed some water on his face.

The way his smile doesn’t reach his eyes, and wobbles when he spots Dave’s hand where his own used to fit so nicely.

Blaine is not that angered that he can’t recognize the anguish on Kurt’s face.

 

He just won’t forgive and forget so easily.

But he knows that he will. At some point, in the future.

If Kurt really works for it.

 

The three of them end up on the dance floor, and Kurt seems to lose himself in the music in a way Blaine has only seen him do when he’s drunk.

But he only had one shot of Tequila, so that must be another facet of Kurt that Blaine didn’t see blossoming.

This new Kurt Rachel is talking about, the one who takes responsibility for his actions and sees a therapist.

This new Kurt who sends a sad smile Blaine’s way but keeps on dancing.

This new Kurt who could love Blaine and who Blaine could love the way they should have loved each other.

 

The music changes to something softer, a slow dance, and Blaine’s muscles are so attuned to Kurt that he goes towards him.

Like earlier, when he arrived at the club and his knee-jerk reaction was to go for a kiss.

But just like earlier, he stops himself before putting his hands on Kurt’s back and shifts to Dave.

Who smiles at him knowingly, looking at him through his eyelashes and nods towards Kurt.

“You know that I don’t handle slow dances that well,” he says with a deprecating laugh. “But the next line dance is mine,” he adds, and Blaine smiles in the kiss Dave places on his lips before turning to Kurt.

Who is swaying to the music, with his hands behind his back, looking at anything but them.

“For old times’ sake,” Blaine offers, an invisible olive branch in the hand he holds to Kurt.

“For old times’ sake,” Kurt echoes, taking his hand and pulling him close.

_So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you_

_And I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye_

_Wherever we’re standing_

_I won’t take you for granted_

_'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time_

_So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you_

_So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you …_


End file.
